Before we start let me just say that this will probably end up rustling a few feathers. I am in no way trying to take away from the historic events of the past week, there is a growing problem that I and many others feel we should address. A lot of this is my own opinion however I will be using the thoughts and feelings of others in the LGBTQ+ space. To avoid backlash I will be keeping their identities a secret and I hope my readers will treat their thoughts with the same respect as you do with mine. I want to also mention that this post is aimed at a (hopefully) small group and in no way an attempt to criticise people as a whole. I will probably use language which sounds as if I'm tarring everyone with the same brush. I am however speaking solely to a portion of the Cis community who have unfortunately annoyed and upset quite a number of those who identify as LGBTQ+. I'm also fully aware of the flags origins and initial intent. If you feel that this article in any way does no represent you then I'm super happy about that. There's good and bad in everything and this is our way of pointing some of that bad. We cool? Let's begin.
This weekend has been quite the roller coaster. What's happened in the United States doesn't need another explanation but we can all agree that this one small step is in the right direction. It's the events post this though that I'm going to talk about.
Being the harbingers of good will and all (Spot the sarcasm) Facebook has taken upon itself to create a super neat "Pride Your Profile Pic" app. It's not called that but I bet some trendy cretin probably mulled that name over in his head for a moment. It's very simple, you click on the little link and it automagically creates a rainbow flag over your profile picture. You are then supposed to post that as your current profile picture to receive lots of lovely likes and comments, oh what a super person you are. Yet why am I seeing such backlash against this definitely positive thing? Oh yeah because a lot of the community (Trans especially) have felt isolated by the move. A move which screams vanity and corporate trend following at the lowest levels. The app has proven to be quite popular among the Cis community. And now I'm going to tell you why we are all kind of sick.
1) The wrong message
By using the flag, you are speaking about the LGBTQ+ group as a whole. However that's not the case. I've yet to see anyone post about the wider issues facing the group and what we can do to take the fight forward. That's partially due to people not having any idea of the issues we all face. I can then assume that they believe that equal marriage was the end goal of the flag and that by using it in such a way only serves to reinforce that view. I've yet to see anyone post about Pride. I've yet to see anyone post about the terrible events in Turkey, where pepper spray and rubber bullets were used against the crowd. It's almost as if you can make this one gesture then walk away. Yet we can't.
2) The company
Has anyone sat down and looked at Facebook's terrible track record with the LGBTQ+ community? Then maybe I need to enlighten some of you on their policy of only accepting "Authentic Names" . For a company with such a spotty track record helping the Trans community using such a symbol only shows that this was a simple drive for traffic. To win the hearts and minds of groups who already feel that Facebook can't do no wrong. I use Facebook on a regular basis. However it's important to know the beast you feed and where possible attempt to change it. This half arsed attempt to pander to a community isn't that change.
3) Vanity
That's it really. I wonder how many of those who posted the flag have any real idea of the struggles that LGBTQ+ people go through on a daily basis. I don't want to claim that this is the case for everyone. I obviously can't speak for the millions who use the service. But if you are Cis, and are using the flag without a real understanding of what it represents then you are kind of doing it for the wrong reasons.
4) It's not for you
A thought that's been expressed by many of us in the LGBTQ+ space. The flag has in some ways been appropriated by the Cis community over the weekend, as a token gesture of support without any true understanding. And we are quite frankly tired of this happening. The flag is a symbol of rebellion through oppression. A call to arms for all those in the community to stand up and be proud. It's not there for vanity. It's not there to be used in one occasion then tossed aside. It's insulting to see so many doing it to simply feel better. It's like the ice bucket challenge without the money and the funny videos of people getting proper cold for a minute. I know how ungrateful this makes me sound, part of me feels like a spoiled brat throwing my toys out of the pram because nobody recognises me. But you have to understand that by using the flag in this way only ends up alienating those who identify with it. Social Media etc has been ablaze with criticism towards the 'app'. It's just unfortunate that we have been pushed back by the Cis community once again. Which brings me on neatly to my last point.
5) Comments
I've been locked in mortal kombat with my Cis friends for the past weekend. Questioning and asking do they really know what they are doing? And while some have been insightful, others have been downright ridiculous. Let me share with you my two favourite.
"You just need to wait for your turn".
Excuse me? I need to wait for my turn to feel safe? I need to wait like a good little girl until the Cis groups find me socially acceptable. Why should we wait for representation. There are various manifestos which suggest that the U.S has well over a 100 legislations that aren't Trans friendly. When is it our turn to have the flags waved in our honour? Or are we still supposed to stand at the back, the fierce and brave Trans masses who are murdered on a weekly basis, clapping our hands yet still waiting for 'our turn'.
"Don't piss on your chips"
I guess this means I should just be grateful that there is some support. As if being a good little ally is worthy of praise. While my brothers and sisters commit suicide because we are still not socially accepted in any form. It's true that some support is better than no support, but is it really support? Only the individuals who have made such a bold claim to get with us can truly answer that. And on the mention of comments. Remember a few weeks back when I opened my heart up about the time I was victimised for my gender identity? The ones who called me Tranny, and wishes for my death? Well they all have rainbow flags as their profile pictures. Let that sink in for a moment.
Just to finish off I'd like to take a moment to remember another loss in the Trans community. It's impossible for me to keep up with all these as it's sadly such a frequent occurrence . However I feel I need to mention the terrible death of Laura Vermont. Beaten to death in What happened to her is disgusting and shows that as a group we need more protection, better laws and more understanding. I have never met you Laura but from one Trans woman to another. I fucking love you !
Charlie
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