How does it feel?

I've been working on another post recently but I've had a few setbacks. I've tried to get some other Trans writers involved over a subject that has caused a division within the community. So while I parse the information and whatnot from these discussions I thought I'd take the time to write a little post for the interim. How does it feel being 'Trans'.

Now how can you explain how you feel about gender? And how can you accurately explain to someone who isn't Trans what it feels like to be in this position? For most of us we can explain why we are Trans, or that first moment where we knew, but it's totally different trying to explain how two halves of a person come together. Or in this case don't. However time and time again we get asked how do we feel being Trans. As if we can boil down our life experiences living with a Dysphoria into one easy to handle bite size chunk.

I'll give it my best shot.

When asked by friends about this I always try and flip the situation back onto them. I will often ask how being the Gender that they are makes them feel. Empowered, Attractive, Strong. These are some of the words I've heard used from both Males & Females. I like to make people feel aware of their Gender and how being within the matching body on the outside makes them feel comfortable. Then imagine if tomorrow you awoke to find that your physical body had changed and you were the only one that knew. People will interact with you on the basis of your physical side (Or Sex as we will call it here) however inside you know that it isn't the real you. You are no longer that person, that comfort and sense of self has essentially vanished leaving you as polar opposites of the same person. Well that's kind of how it feels.
Then you ask them what they would like to do in that situation. The first answer is "Well change back". But how can you when society still finds the idea of Transitioning rather taboo. How would your parents and family react? Remember as far as they are concerned in this hypothetical situation you are not the person you think you are. Will your friends still want your company? How much money is it going to cost? These are all questions we ask ourselves on a daily basis. The frustration of being inside what some consider an alien body. 

I know that's really black and white of me. This scenario doesn't take into account the vastness of the Gender spectrum. Covering those like myself who associate as Gender Fluid or even those who consider themselves Genderless. I feel somewhat lucky being in a position where my Gender changes but as some of my long time readers and closest friends know that recently I've been questioning this aspect of me as having an uncontrollable switch back and forth can leave you incredibly frustrated and scared.

You know what though? Out of all the different ways I've tried to explain it, this way appears to work best. I've found it's given my friends a new understanding and are a lot more accommodating of my decision.

Have you ever tried to explain to people how being Trans feels? What did you do and how did it go? Let me know in the comments below.

I want to make a little update on last weeks post too before I finish. I've had quite a number of responses on Twitter etc and I think a Video Blog will be a good idea. I will try and get a video done soon for you all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter for even more ramblings and pictures of me acting like an idiot. Find me @Charlottewbuzz