'Passing' Judgement

Why not both?

The internet can be a fantastic place. Right now I can Google almost anything and find a result. It's allowed me to connect to all of my amazing readers and in some way become a part of your lives. I love sharing my work with you and being a photographer one of the things I like to do the most is create portraits of myself, sharing my style & philosophy of blending both of my genders. Something I've noticed however, especially from one particular group (which I won't name) is the need or the belief that what I wear or how I look has to be somehow graded. As if my conscious decision to look the way I do is not what others want me to look like and therefore is open for comment.

I don't really want to dwell on this all that much. It's only fair that if I create work it should be up for criticism and thankfully this is only an insignificant number compared to the huge amounts if praise I receive. But it always surrounds the same thing, what I could do in future to 'look more feminine'.


This isn't the first time I've written about a topic like this. Only a few weeks ago I spoke about someone telling me how to have a more "Feminine Smile" but I feel it's something I should discuss again.

For those of you who don't know I have begun to find a balance between my genders, a balance I've found through my work. I was for a short while a freelance photographer, helping out with newspapers and whatnot. Although I don't do anything in a professional capacity any more I still like creating pieces of work of myself. I have found tremendous amounts of therapy in tracking my progress visually & I've found joy talking to others about it. Some might consider it just a series of nice looking selfies but to me it expression. Photography and film is my art so being able to create a portfolio of who I am feels amazing. But time and time again it feels like some individuals think I need to essentially be 'one or the other'. Even if I'm Gender Fluid I should apparently commit to one style or the other. This simply isn't the case though. I don't feel 100% one way or the other and I love being able to express that, wearing clothes that are traditionally male and female at the same time. Not wearing much makeup and instead focusing on certain areas that make me personally feel at ease. I shouldn't have to wear nice pretty dresses and six inch thick makeup to express myself and really why would I want to? It seems that for some, if your sex and gender align then you can wear what you want.If your trans however you should encompass all of the stereotypical aspects of that gender. I should want to become a lovely princess, all pink and sparkles and doing otherwise is like I am not fully committing myself. Well no I'm actually quite the opposite and to grade my expression as anything other than what I intend is not beneficial to anybody. It only reinforces a belief that we have to subscribe to certain stereotypes depending on our gender.

What I'm really being told is how to 'pass' better as a woman. What I could do in order to trick you all into thinking, even for a split second that I am physically female. I should want to look so 'hyper woman' as I'm going to call it that I can slip undetected into the ranks, when really it's about inner expression rather than how I look. You only end up focusing on the negatives. Being told "Yeah it's ok but if you do this with your makeup, then you will look more like a girl" doesn't benefit anyone in the long run, least of all me. I know this sounds somewhat like I'm blocking criticism however small or inconsequential. Just remember that we aren't up for debate.

Plus what is our obsession with making sure we 'pass'? What I mean is why is it so important for others to tell me what their interpretation of womanhood is? Are they worried that being seen with me is somehow going to cause embarrassment and are they simply looking out for me? I would like to think the latter however I think it has more to do with this idea that people are allowed to critique the physical features of a trans person. That we are somehow trying to become our desired gender and aww bless are failing. A stereotype perpetuated by Television & Film where trans characters are often presented that way. Like we are baby deers, taking our first unsure steps into womanhood. Non matching clothes, shoes too small and makeup slap dashed on our face. Luckily for us we have our kind friends to tell us we look ridiculous and with a little help us poor ladies can end up as beautiful as them. That's frankly patronising and insulting to the trans community and the gender you are supposedly representing. If people seek advice then by all means give them the support they ask for. But don't just assume that our expression is open for critique.


So here's a picture of me I guess.....

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