Me Myself and Charlie : Part Three

This is the third and final part in my Charlie & Me story. This won’t be the last time I bring up stuff from my past. There are still some parts missing here but to keep the story as interesting as possible I have removed some of the more boring stuff. This is also going to be quite a short conclusion. Although light on words I hope it will resonate with a few of you. We good? Let’s continue

In my last post I talked about a series of really horrible events that happened to me a good number of years ago, events that led me to resent who I was. I thought by throwing away Charlie it would somehow make me happy but in actual fact it did the total opposite.

It wasn't until my third year of University, spurred on by my then new partner that I decided to open up again about my past and who I was. Then it hit me. I wasn't resenting myself, I resented everyone who had made me feel weak for no reason other than that they could. I wasn't to blame, they were.

I decided it was time I made some changes.

The few years between then and now have been ones of self discovery once again. I've made significant changes to both my Trans and non Trans side in terms of who I speak to and who I trust. For some a closing circle of friends may sound like a tragedy, a sickening effect on the way I was treated however I see it as nothing but a positive. I know who I can talk to and trust with any issues I have. There was though one lingering question that needed to be answered. When was I going to come out publicly?

I’m going to write a feature on this in more detail soon but I’d just like to shed some light on my decision to take some steps to openly come out as Trans. This year I wanted to have a more positive outlook and take more control over my life, this also meant coming out. At the start of the year I began to open up. It could be said that I had not learned the lessons from the past but why should a bad experience deter me from being me? I’d made the decision to come out to my family by the end of 2014. So far it looks like I’m still on track.

The next step in my journey is to open up to my family. Some of my family knows and those who do who have been incredible rocks during this process. I spend quite significant amount of time as Charlotte and am venturing out for the first time as me. And I honestly couldn't be happier. I can’t remember a time of my life where I've felt as happy or as positive as I do now.

The journey from then to here has been one of ups and downs, highs and lows. There have been some absolutely amazing times which I may document here in the future but also times of despair. My hope is by letting you all in it will benefit us all. Nobody should have to live in fear of being who they are and I hope I can in some small way do something to aid in our cause. 

Charlie xx

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