When I tell people about me being Trans I always end up getting asked the same few questions over and over again. Now I have no problem at all answering people’s questions. To most people I’ve met and discussed it they have known me for 20+ years as the obnoxious, loud and ever so slightly brash male me. To find out then there’s a totally different side to me is often confusing. Although I tell people that I am no different It's still sometimes a rather big thing to simply comprehend. So I’ve compiled a little list and some answers to the questions I get asked on a regular basis.
Q) Are you gay?
A) Nope, I don’t know how else I can elaborate on this other than no. This question has always confused me a little. It could be the association with the LGB community; it could be peoples misunderstanding of how sexuality and gender work. Who knows but if a 5 year relationship to an amazing Woman isn’t evidence enough then I don’t know what is.
Q) What do I call you?
A) Whatever you want to call me. I have friends who call me by both of my names, one of them or just utter an expletive whenever they want to get my attention. It’s not about forcing myself upon people. If friends aren’t quite ready then I won’t pressure them.
Q) When are you having a sex change?
A) Never. Now this is a bone of contention between some people I know in the Trans community. How can you call yourself Trans if you aren’t going to make the ‘switch’? Well there’s more to it than just what you are physically. To me its first and foremost a state of mind. Being two people for lack of a better word has given me incredibly insight and has made me incredibly happy. I wouldn’t change what I have now for the world.
Q) How often are you Charlotte ?
A) I can see what people mean by this question. When am I in their eyes dressed up or when am I in that mode for lack of a better term. The answer is there's no hard and fast rule for it. As I believe that being Trans is a mental rather than physical thing for me, even if I'm not physically 'dressed' as a Woman I am more often than not mentally in that zone.
Q) Do you pass as a Woman ?
A) You tell me ! I think it depends on what you perceive as Womanhood. I guess if your perception of femininity is how we look or act then I guess not. I have been told that as Charlotte I do behave differently. This I thought could be down to my own idea of what a Woman is but then I began to look at it differently. Perhaps Charlotte is the real me. Free from inhibitions or being told to act a certain way.
There are a couple more questions I get asked but for now 5 is good. To my Trans readers (I know your out there!) what are the questions you get asked often? How do you deal with them and how would you deal with the 5 I posed above.
Charlie xx
I think that the older you get the more clearer your vision is of what you want. My "concept" of femininity at 24 was very different to what it is now at 45, which is how long it's taken to decide to transition.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to ask you whether your existence in S.Wales has you at a disadvantage considering my stereotypical perceptions of your culture. Welsh women scare me.
Hii :) Yeah definitely, in the past year I've discovered so much about myself and I'm so excited to learn more.
DeleteAs for the perceptions of our culture it definitely has it's challenges. But no word of a lie we are like the loveliest people ever :D.