Vlog: Transgender Discovery

My contribution to IDAHOT 2015.

I talk about the time in my life that I realised I was Trans.

If you have any questions of would like some advice leave a comment below or follow me on Twitter @Charlottewbuzz

Mad Max Fury Road : My Thoughts

My opinion and sort of spoiler free etc.

This wasn't originally part of the plan for this page. I was going to focus purely on Trans issues here, however I felt the need to discuss a movie that myself and others have been anticipating for a number of years. The fourth entry into the Mad Max world. So buckle up, load your double barrel and let's get mad !



For those of you not in the know Mad Max is a series of dystopian/post apocalyptic movies from the mind of director extraordinaire George Miller. The first three have rightfully earned their place as some of the greatest cult movies of all time with the second movie, Road Warrior often cited as the best. Now I would hesitate to say that the fourth movie was as good as Max 2 but I can honestly say it's a close second.

In this bizarre world our hero Max Rockatansky, played here by Tom Hardy has been imprisoned by the War Boys who serve under their ruler King Immortan Joe. Max is used as a blood donor for a sick member of Joe's army and this theme runs throughout the movie. If you have it, Joe will take it from you. From blood to milk if it's of any value it becomes his 'property'. We are given little time to acclimatise to the world as one of Joe's high ranking officers Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) leads a daring coup against the leader. She smuggles Joe's most prized 'possession' out from under his nose. His Women. This takes the series to some unexpected places. Max takes a backseat in a lot of occasions to Furiosa and the other female characters. This does not however make this any less of a Mad Max movie because when the action ramps up he is right in the thick of it.

It's those action sequences that have been given particular care and attention. The movie could be argued is one long chase sequence with some small downtime in between the set pieces to add depth and gain a breath before the next. The use of sound, from the roaring engines spewing fuel into the wild landscape, to the incredible soundtrack is perfection itself. It's an onslaught on the ears in the best way possible. Millers direction is second to none, delivering some edge of the seat action sequences. The film starts on a 10 and by the end is firing on all cylinders however it never outstays it's welcome. George understands completely when to cease the action and let the characters speak and although the dialogue is rather sparse it is by no means throwaway. There is a belief among some that more dialogue = the deeper story but movies such as this prove that you can say just as much with the flick of a wrist as you can with a monologue. Behind the seemingly one note plot there's some topics to be explored. Both leads have dark pasts which haunt them and this permutes throughout the story. Redemption and survival ring out from start to finish in a film that on the outset looks like nothing more than a summer action movie. Miller never takes his audience for granted and if you are willing to dig just below the films surface there's a satisfying tale to be found.

Performances all round were spot on. Hardy had an uphill battle following in the footsteps of Mel Gibson's version but I'm delighted to report that both can stand side by side. Hardy never attempts to outshine the more cocksure Max of the past, instead delivering a more subdued performance which often looks awkward but never out of place. I found myself listening a lot more to what Max had to, or in a lot of cases didn't have to say. His movements and speech is definitely not for all but I found it him a joy to watch. Removing the heroic features of Max gave him a depth and realism that I did not expect and I'm glad it was there. Charlize however steals the show for me. This was a great pairing between both and definitely an inspired choice by Miller.

Mad Max is a gut punch for a genre that some may argue has become stagnant. In a world where ageing action heroes are carted out one last time to fight some undisclosed Eastern European country (I'm looking at you Expendables) here is a movie that manages to pull the same punches but still have time to deliver a grounded and ultimately human story. The plot doesn't fall over itself in a vain attempt to be clever, it instead uses a subtle mix of drama and balls to the wall action and delivers on every note. George has managed to pull off the impossible. He has gloriously brought back this 30+ year old franchise and never misses a beat. It's a brutal, non stop action ride which shows everyone else how it's done. The world most definitely, belongs to the mad !

Vlog : Bullying, Bandits and Bad Times

Triggers: Suicide, Self Harm, Bullying. This is a really difficult on this week, I talk about some really heavy stuff and hopefully do it justice. Let me know in the comments your thoughts etc etc etc

Selfierapy

Last week I mentioned briefly about some of the tactics I employ to cope with my struggles with gender identity. I spoke about using photography as a form of expression and some of the misconceptions surrounding why I use it. That discussion is in the past, what I do want to talk about however is how I started taking pictures, why I use photography as expression and how it has benefited me in the long run.

I've been a photographer for a number of years. Although I have mostly worked within moving image, particularly short films. I've found that I have a natural eye for taking pictures. As a result I've had a number of my photographs used in print from newspapers to magazines. I enjoy nothing more than getting up early with a camera, taking a lazy walk up to the hills surrounding my home and snapping away at what I find. It's a part of my life however I want to keep away from the blog for now. This has always been Charlie's place and anything that crosses the boundary between her and male me I prefer to not expose. What I am willing to expose though is my love for self photography.

Much like any introspective art form, self photography can be an amazing way to express your true feelings. The more of yourself you put into any project, the more alive it feels and you can't get much more yourself than physically being in the piece. I first started toying with the idea when I purchased a new DSLR a few years back. Having a rotating screen and wireless shutter control mean that I could control what happens in the image and with that I found that I really enjoyed creating pieces of myself.

It may sound incredibly vain but...well yeah it actually is. But vanity is not something in my opinion you should be ashamed of. My priorities are in the right place, my work means that usually I am the last person I think about on a day to day basis therefore taking the time out for me is incredibly relaxing. There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are and this is just one way that I express that, and more importantly it's going to mean something in the long run.

I don't know one day to the next what will happen. Gender identity makes it so that I live more often than not in the now. I am spurred on in a lot of cases by impulse and that worries me. Will I still be me 5,10,20 years down the line? If I decide later on that I want to live full time female then there's a huge chunk of my life that's missing. I have already in my mind missed out on nearly 30 years of knowing who I really am and in some ways photography is helping that. It helps me track my progress, it's a reminder that however many years down the line Charlotte (I'm going to speak in third person a moment) was here, she is still here, she will always be a part of me and a few snaps taken now will be priceless in the future. I have no pictures of Charlotte with friends for example. 20+ years of her existence has been one of solitude and only now since being more open has she really found honest and true friends. Photography is a way for me to be normal. Some people write songs, create works of art or work selflessly for others, but for me having a physical snapshot of my life going forward is one of the ways that I feel me. In some ways it's a form of therapy.

This wasn't going to be a particularly long piece. I've got another bigger blog coming hopefully at the end of the week. I've sprinkled a few pics throughout the blog. Just to clarify these images have in some way been toyed with in Photoshop. That in no way means the intention of the images have been altered it's mostly some colour grading and brightness changes. If you want some really scary pictures of me all normal and meh then head over to my Twitter @Charlottewbuzz