'Passing' Judgement

Why not both?

The internet can be a fantastic place. Right now I can Google almost anything and find a result. It's allowed me to connect to all of my amazing readers and in some way become a part of your lives. I love sharing my work with you and being a photographer one of the things I like to do the most is create portraits of myself, sharing my style & philosophy of blending both of my genders. Something I've noticed however, especially from one particular group (which I won't name) is the need or the belief that what I wear or how I look has to be somehow graded. As if my conscious decision to look the way I do is not what others want me to look like and therefore is open for comment.

I don't really want to dwell on this all that much. It's only fair that if I create work it should be up for criticism and thankfully this is only an insignificant number compared to the huge amounts if praise I receive. But it always surrounds the same thing, what I could do in future to 'look more feminine'.


This isn't the first time I've written about a topic like this. Only a few weeks ago I spoke about someone telling me how to have a more "Feminine Smile" but I feel it's something I should discuss again.

For those of you who don't know I have begun to find a balance between my genders, a balance I've found through my work. I was for a short while a freelance photographer, helping out with newspapers and whatnot. Although I don't do anything in a professional capacity any more I still like creating pieces of work of myself. I have found tremendous amounts of therapy in tracking my progress visually & I've found joy talking to others about it. Some might consider it just a series of nice looking selfies but to me it expression. Photography and film is my art so being able to create a portfolio of who I am feels amazing. But time and time again it feels like some individuals think I need to essentially be 'one or the other'. Even if I'm Gender Fluid I should apparently commit to one style or the other. This simply isn't the case though. I don't feel 100% one way or the other and I love being able to express that, wearing clothes that are traditionally male and female at the same time. Not wearing much makeup and instead focusing on certain areas that make me personally feel at ease. I shouldn't have to wear nice pretty dresses and six inch thick makeup to express myself and really why would I want to? It seems that for some, if your sex and gender align then you can wear what you want.If your trans however you should encompass all of the stereotypical aspects of that gender. I should want to become a lovely princess, all pink and sparkles and doing otherwise is like I am not fully committing myself. Well no I'm actually quite the opposite and to grade my expression as anything other than what I intend is not beneficial to anybody. It only reinforces a belief that we have to subscribe to certain stereotypes depending on our gender.

What I'm really being told is how to 'pass' better as a woman. What I could do in order to trick you all into thinking, even for a split second that I am physically female. I should want to look so 'hyper woman' as I'm going to call it that I can slip undetected into the ranks, when really it's about inner expression rather than how I look. You only end up focusing on the negatives. Being told "Yeah it's ok but if you do this with your makeup, then you will look more like a girl" doesn't benefit anyone in the long run, least of all me. I know this sounds somewhat like I'm blocking criticism however small or inconsequential. Just remember that we aren't up for debate.

Plus what is our obsession with making sure we 'pass'? What I mean is why is it so important for others to tell me what their interpretation of womanhood is? Are they worried that being seen with me is somehow going to cause embarrassment and are they simply looking out for me? I would like to think the latter however I think it has more to do with this idea that people are allowed to critique the physical features of a trans person. That we are somehow trying to become our desired gender and aww bless are failing. A stereotype perpetuated by Television & Film where trans characters are often presented that way. Like we are baby deers, taking our first unsure steps into womanhood. Non matching clothes, shoes too small and makeup slap dashed on our face. Luckily for us we have our kind friends to tell us we look ridiculous and with a little help us poor ladies can end up as beautiful as them. That's frankly patronising and insulting to the trans community and the gender you are supposedly representing. If people seek advice then by all means give them the support they ask for. But don't just assume that our expression is open for critique.


So here's a picture of me I guess.....

Follow me on Twitter @Charlottewbuzz
Subscribe to me on Youtube

Transpotting Q&A Session

Last week I asked for questions for my very first Q&A Vlog Session. I had a good number of questions and unfortunately I've had to leave a few out. Not to worry though as I will be saving them for another one in a few months. So here we are, the moment you've all been waiting for...probably.

Q&A - Call for Questions

Have you ever wondered what my favourite type of shoe is? Or how I like to spend my Sundays? Well this is your opportunity to ask me anything !

Next week (Thursday 16th of March) I'm going to try and conduct my very first Question and Answer session.

How will this work? Well it's quite simple really. For the next week what I want is for you to send in any and all questions you have. That way you have a week to come up with something and get it in. If you have a question for me then drop me a comment on here, tweet me or send me an email. I'm not sure how this will work or if I will even get questions, but let's give it a try and see what happens. Questions can be answered anonymously if you don't want your name mentioned. Oh and maybe I'll give a star prize to the best one.

I'll close submissions next Thursday so you all have a week to ask me whatever insightful, ridiculous or stupid questions you have. Don't be shy I am super nice :)

Ask me on Twitter @Charlottewbuzz
Email me at charlotterosewilliams1989@gmail.com
Or drop me a comment below

Vlog: Pillars of Transmisogyny

Hey gang ! So I wasn't sure if I was going to do this. I usually keep out of this stuff because I've never felt confident enough to really talk out loud like this. But here goes anyway. Here's my take on the whole Pillars of Eternity poem and the subsequent fallout from Total Biscuit. I try to remain as impartial as possible. Let me know in the comments how I got on. There's so much more I could have said but hopefully I've done enough.

Vlog: 5 Facts Special

Back with more rubbish from my Youtube page. This time I give you 5 facts about myself.

Terms & Conditions May Apply

Like many of my posts recently this has been inspired by stuff I've seen around me. It doesn't come from personal experience but from reading comments and posts from friends. This week we are going to talk about the word trans & why we may or may not want to use it.

For the record I've only really embraced the word in the last year. I've never found any of the terms to really represent me. So many of them are specific to each individuals situation or lifestyle and since I'm still finding my way it's been difficult to find the right one. Trans however is just a blanket term which I feel we can all embrace one way or the other. There are those however who buck the trend and unfortunately get a lot of negativity because of this.

Apparently this person can't call herself female

I've seen quite a number of friends who I would initially have called trans throw away that moniker and instead call themselves quite simply women. Regardless of where you are on the gender Spectrum having the courage to identify as who you are is fantastic and I love them because of this. Being able to express your true feelings is incredibly difficult and I'm ever so proud of those women who don't feel they need to add this extra caveat at the front. It's just unfortunate that there are people out there who don't see it that way. Even worse when it comes from inside the trans community.

Most of the comments point at the individuals current physical body, in particular if they have begun the process of transitioning. The focus on the 'sex' instead of gender is perhaps a conversation for another time but I'll continue. Now for a lot of us having surgery and expensive therapy is not an option, so why do we make up such arbitrary rules for when someone can call themselves a woman? I've been told it's because underneath in the physical sense they are still Male. Not only is that comment naive as all hell it's also way too focused on the individuals Genitalia, you know that thing Feminists such as myself stand against. There's more to Males and Females than what they have going on underneath so to focus on that one thing shows a complete lack of understanding and only enforces the belief that women can only be women if they can for example give birth. Which isn't really fair since there are thousands of individuals who won't ever experience that. There's a huge fascination with what's going on underneath with trans women. That's why trans related adult material is such large market. And we need to perhaps begin focusing on not what we have in the physical sense but what we have going on in our heads.

I've also been told that it's deceitful to call yourself a woman when you are trans. As if you are out to trap unaware Men with your amazing ability to look like the opposite sex. If you want to read more about this then I suggest finding a copy of Whipping Girl by Julia Serano. In it she has a section on the belief that trans women are out to be deceitful and she does a far better job than I ever could. But it simply is not the case. You aren't calling yourself a woman to lure people back to your trans den before whipping your junk out. Although there are definitely some aspects of the community who would perhaps engage in such activities it is not a true reflection of us as a whole.

That person is me

So what it means then is we are women with terms & conditions. We may use the word but we also have to preface it with a large warning. WE MAY BE MEN UNDERNEATH SO WATCH OUT. The worst part is I've seen this attitude come from the trans community. A good friend of mine was told that she has no right to call herself a woman while she has no breasts and should instead call herself a Man. But who has the authority on what you can be called? If you want to call yourself trans then do it. If you want to be called a woman do it. There should be nothing stopping you, especially from the community that should have your back the most. This attitude only serves to emotionally cripple an individual and stop them from being their true self. I've found that I now use trans more because of this. When I use that term it feels like I am giving people a slight heads up which doesn't help anyone. It doesn't make me feel like I could ever be that person that I sometimes want to be. If I decide to begin living my life as a woman it would be a long time before I can make any sort of moves on transitioning so up until that moment am I not to call myself who I am? Am I not a real woman until I have all the bits and pieces in the right place? If we have people within our own community who feel that way it goes to show we have further to go than I first thought

As always I appreciate all your feedback. If you want to see more of the rubbish I write then remember to follow me on Twitter @Charlottewbuzz and if you could then subscribe to me on Youtube www.youtube.com/c/CharlotteWilliamsBuzz

 

Vlog Intro

Bonjour everyone !

Well I did it, I've recorded a couple of video logs as mentioned in a previous post. Right now I'm only putting up the intro with the next one going up possibly Monday/Tuesday. So let me know what you think ! If you like my ramblings then remember to subscribe it would really mean a lot to me :)


Charlie xxxx